From my Journal
23 March 2012
1:22 am
I am constantly thinking to myself how much I want to go home. Nearly every other journal entry begins or ends with that confession. But the more I consider, the more I recognize that home is not there anymore. This home that I long for is a childhood memory with all the rosy hues of its kind. It's a place and a time forever enshrined in memory when hardship was a foreigner and tragedy restricted to the theater. My eyes and ears were young and innocent, unpolluted by cynicism, callousness, and pain.
Once a soul lives long enough he or she finds that a true home cannot exist on this earth, in this world -- not that I have resigned myself to some kind of chaotic, depressive world. No. This earth is still green, there is still beauty in the broken, and the Lamb is still on the throne, worthy of glory and honor and adoration and praise.
There is so much goodness in this land, and yet there is not enough to truly tie me to it, for I have tasted -- only just tasted -- true, unspoilt, desperately deep love. I tasted it at the cross and daily my mouth waters for more. It is only natural that I feel not at home here. I am evermore a foreigner in a strange place, a sojourner in a broken land. I'm an ambassador from a world I've never been to, but a city I'm a citizen of, a home I will always be homesick for.
2 comments:
Beautiful and thought-provoking post, Jane Ellen! So very true -- I find myself looking for that elusive "home" as well, only to realize that I'm looking for it in the wrong place (i.e., this earth).
But we *won't* always be homesick! One day we will be home with the Lord, and the eternity we spend with Him in our true home will make these homesick days seem like a blip in time! :-)
Your fellow earthly pilgrim,
Shannon
Amen and amen, Shannon. What a glorious day that will be!
I miss you and yours more than words can say. Cannot wait to see y'all again!
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