Here I sit, a young woman in a pastel nightgown with whole grain toast on a crystal plate perched on my lap. My English Breakfast tea in a Victoria and Albert reproduction mug rests upon a homemade Jane Austen coaster at my elbow. Even my pen has a Victorian floral print upon it. The only thing out of place is the music sailing along the wire channels from my iPod to my ears: RED, Breathe into Me.
I won't pretend that I don't like RED, 'cause I do. Some of their songs are so poignant and illustrative and -- what can I say? -- this Chopin, Debussy, Mozart loving music major likes their hard rock style. Nonetheless, it's not the music genre that hits me today as I eat breakfast: it's the words. They so accurately fit my feelings and lifestyle right now. I've been "ignoring [His] words" and "running away from [Him]" to the point that "I don't know myself."
Breathe into Me
And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me,
And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you,
And this is who I am when, when I don't know myself anymore,
And this is what I choose when it's all left up to me.
Breathe your life into me, I can feel you
I'm falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me, I still need you
I'm falling, falling
Breathe into me, breathe into me
And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge
And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground
And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain
And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away
Breathe your life into me, I can feel you
I'm falling, falling faster
Breathe your life into me, I still need you
I'm falling, falling
Breathe into me, breathe into me!
"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." Revelation 3:15-22
