Awake and Arise

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. 

::    Edmund Burke    ::

"for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it i shameful even to speak of the thins that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,

"'Awake, O sleeper,

and arise from the dead,

and Christ will shine upon you.' "

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."

Ephesians 5:8-16

Nativities and Pruning

(Gerrit van Honthorst, The Nativity)

Today I set up our nativity. As I unrolled each wooden figurine from its cozy cocoon of brown paper and fingered each familiar carved face, I mulled over all that God has done with me in the past year, specifically all the pruning the Gardener has done in my patch. As God has shed this Christmas of all its pleasant extras -- sparse decking of halls, few gifts to give and receive, next to no dear ones to share it with -- I realized how God has been shedding my soul of bonuses, too.

He's cut away so much legalism, all my man-made rules and self-sufficient "salvation"; he's cut away so much baggage from my relationships, the pent-up bitterness and distance from years of tension; he's even cut away much of my perception of self. I'm left with the bare-bones, glorious Gospel, the precious, worthy-to-be-cherished friendships, and the core of who I am by His creative power and through His redemptive blood.

Gone are the trappings and trimmings that I once thought were my faith, my friends, my self. Gone are they with the Christmas garlands and gifts and guests. Here to stay, forever on earth and through eternity, are the pure and simple truths of Scripture.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed usin the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

"*In him* we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.'

-Ephesians 1:3-14 (emphasis added)

"And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

Ephesians 2:1-10

"For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."

- Isaiah 9:6

Merry Christmas.

Ramblings

If this is what being in love feels like, then, oh, I am ready! But no, being in love -- if the storytellers and the historians and the theologians and all people throughout history haven't been lying -- being in love must be, is, infinitely greater. For, as my mother says, it lasts much longer, a lifetime.

This feeling after finishing a book, completing a film, leaving a play, cadencing a symphony, or opening a letter. This feeling when the couples are united, when the good triumphs, when the journey ends happily. This feeling of such joy, when even my old soul and heavy body want to leap and dance and shout and sing. And all my face can do is contort into the brightest, broadest of beams that I think it will break altogether. Love must be a beautiful thing if it inspires more true joy, more giddy happiness than this.

Is it silly, naive, even coarse to compare true love, that which has been immortalized by author and poet, painter and sculptor, composer and musician alike for thousands of years to the ecstasy of happily ever after? I think not.

As a matter of fact, if I do say so myself, I think few things are more fitting or romantic. What could be more natural for a girl to dream? That knights of chivalry do come riding in, that good always prevails over evil in the end, that a soulmate truly lives and breathes and eats and sleeps and, perhaps, thinks of me, does exist -- what could be more fitting, more youthful, more beautiful for me to believe in?

I still await my soulmate, yes, but I know that if he never comes or if he does and I am not permitted to have him, I know that I will live on. And even be happy. How? For knights do exist, in the stories and legends and lore and life, yes, but also in the only knight who can bring perfect, whole satisfaction, joy, and peace. He has already been introduced to me. And Jesus is His name.

So, yes, I wait for my soulmate, for my best beloved, for my husband. I await the day I will "know" he's the one, the day he will begin to woo and win me, the day I will be won, the day we will be made one. Yes, I long for all of these things and for that girlish bursting of gladness and joy. Yet, I know that my Redeemer lives, that my Beloved is bringing a beautiful day and I get to spend all of eternity marveling and singing and dancing and shouting and jumping and beaming and loving Him.

"Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

and come away,

for behold, the winter is past;

the rain is over and gone.

The flowers appear on earth,

the time of singing has come,

and the voice of the turtledove

is heard in our land.

The fig tree ripens its figs,

and the vines are in blossom;

they give forth fragrance.

Arise, my love, my beautiful one,

and come away. . . .

let me see your face,

let me hear your voice,

for your voice is sweet,

and your face is lovely. . . .

My beloved is mine, and I am his; . . .

Make haste my beloved . . . "

Song of Solomon 2:10b-14, 16a & 8:14a

Take Them Captive

Bam!

A sudden pain bolted its way through my head, burning and searing whatever's in there as it went. Pained and angered and exhausted all at the same time, I threw down the vacuum handle and rushed out of the room, glaring icily at the assailant, a sharp shelf's corner. Holding my head in my hand, I dove into the coolness of my pillows and heaved a huge sigh. Then, down flooded the tears.

But it wasn't just the pain of a bruised brow that let loose the floodgates. As quickly as I ran retreated across the hallway to my bedroom, my mind ran over all the grievances it could possibly find, not just reaching back through the past day or week, but months and even years. No small injustice, no minor sorrow stayed behind from the conference called inside. They all flocked to the forefront of my mind, each shouting its pitiful sob story.

As the clamorous rampage in my mind continued, my weeping's volume increased. Soon, I was loudly sobbing and nearly convulsing from the anger and resentment, from the grief and the heartache, from the sharp and shooting pain.

From the other room, the vacuum cleaner and my little cleaning companion, Emmy Xiang, sat deserted. I heard her call, confused, to me, "Uh, did someone die in your game, or something?" Even one so enthralled in a pity party could smile at that, but I said nothing. Knowing that someone was listening, I only let loose greater sobs, holding nothing back as is my normal practice.

Finally I heard the pad-pad-pad of her feet coming toward me. She leaned against the bed, not sure whether touching me would invite an embrace or a shove. Finally, I rolled over to her, and she looked at me quizzically. We remained thus for a while, I piteously allowing tears to roll down my cheeks and she wondering what had caused and how to fix the mourning. At last she spoke:

"Why did you put them in there?"

"Um, what," was my confused reply?

"The sad thoughts -- why did you put them in your mind?"

I stared. She stared.

"Oh."

She was right. A simple clumsy knock on the head and I lay prostrate upon my bed weeping as if I had "married an unloveable man," as Emmy Xiang described me. That seven year old saw right into the depths of my heart. You look ridiculous. You hit your head on the shelf, and now you are replaying every sad or angering episode you've experienced in the past year. What is your problem?

"Finally, brothers and sisters,

whatever is true,

whatever is noble,

whatever is right,

whatever is pure,

whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable,

if anything is excellent

or praiseworthy,

think about such things."

Philippians 4:8

Tragic Moral Choice

My beloved friend sent out a query to a few friends this evening, and I wanted a place to store my response, as I intend to develop it into an essay of sorts. So, here it is, beginning with my friend's question, for those interested:

I'm writing a paper on tragic moral choice. Let me know your thoughts... 

There is a pounding on the door. Suddenly, the door gives way and the room is filled with armed Gestapo. Pointing their guns at the Christians inside, they harshly demand, "Where are the Jews?" 

What is the Christian to do? Yes, the Jews are hidden in the attic; but to admit this would mean certain death of the innocent women and children hidden there, while to deny that there are Jews hidden there would be a lie, a breaking of God's commandment. To lie or to submit the innocent to death, which should the Christian choose?

My response:

Hmm... I have struggled with this many a time, my friend. 

The immediate thought for me would be to lie and protect the innocent in my care. After all, the Egyptian midwives were blessed by the Lord after lying to Pharaoh just as Rahab was spared by hiding the Israelite spies. 

But at the same time, our Father declares that He will never, ever place His precious children in temptation without also providing a way of escape. To me, the interpretation of that verse indicates that God never places us in circumstances in which our only option is to sin. 

Then, I also consider the experiences we read of other than those outlined in the Bible. Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place comes to mind. Both Corrie and her sister, Nollie, were called to hide hunted Jews in their homes; however, Corrie refused to admit that Jews were living behind her bedroom wall, while Nollie and her children refused to lie. And the Lord blessed them both in their endeavors! 

*sigh* What to do? Given the situation you described, perhaps I would simply refuse to answer the question. Whatever the circumstances, I constantly pray that, when called upon to undergo such interrogation, the Lord would pour out His favor and that the Spirit would fill my lips with the words He deems fit. I think that this is the only way to ensure that we properly honor the Lord in the moment. 

Well, that's my two cents worth for right now... 

Love you so much!
Jane Ellen 

P.S. Don't you like how I effortlessly outlined the two differing sides of the argument and yet never cast my lot with either one? Call me a temporary fence-sitter, but I have yet to make up my mind on this question, though I've pondered it many an hour.

Thoughts, anyone?

Godward

Between finals, performances, trips, and home-life, this little kingdom hasn't received much attention. For this evening, I'll just post an inspirational quotation and promise a more substantial entry later.

"I assure you the church is not in need of more girls in their late teens and early twenties who are investing their lives in relationships with young men. What we do need, however, is an army of young women with laser-sharp focus on the Lord and his bride. We need more young women serving, praying, and giving. We need more young women developing and using the spiritual gifts and talents with which they have been blessed.

"The time will come soon enough when they will be weighed down with the responsibilities of husbands, children, and households that will hinder their ability to give of themselves outside their homes. In the meantime, let's call our daughters Godward in their focus and encourage them to keep that keen focus until a young man comes along with equal or greater focus that will allow them to do more for the King together than either of them could do on their own."

- Voddie Baucham Jr., What He Must Be

Keep your eyes set upon the King and His glory, and all your worries will melt, while all your needs with fall into place. Keep thou steady eye, ladies!

It Is Not Death to Die

It is not death to die

To leave this weary road

And join the saints who dwell on high

Who've found their home with God.

It is not death to close

The eyes long dimmed by tears

And wake in joy before Your throne

Delivered from our fears.

O Jesus, conquering the grave

Your precious blood has the power to save.

Those who trust in You

Will in Your mercy find

That it is not death to die.

It is not death to fling

Aside this earthly dust

And rise with strong and noble wing

To live among the just.

It is not death to hear

The key unlock the door

That sets us free form mortal years

To praise you evermore.

Currently, I'm musing over the glorious hope of my Eternal Home. How I cannot wait to throw off these earthly shackles and take up my residence there! Living in light of eternity, with that beautiful rest ahead of me, that shining promise, keeps my mind focused on "things that are above." After all, they're far pleasanter to think about, aren't they?

About two years ago I confessed my habit of analyzing my consistent, vivid dreams. Yesterday morning, my eyes abruptly darted open after a particularly painful one. No evil men seeking my life, no failed pregnancy, just shame. I proved inept and so suffered ridicule, not from strangers, but from my family. This dream will never become reality -- inept though I am, my family will never spurn me because of it. Nonetheless, this troubling dream unsettled me. I started to consider my ways. Do I practice enough? Am I making a fool of myself? Should I give up and start something else? What if my dream put into words all the things my family is thinking?

My soul was completely disquieted, so I turned to the Word, the Bread of Life, my sole Comforter.

Psalm 147:10-11

His delight is not in the strength of the horse,

nor His pleasure in the legs of a man,

but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear Him,

in those who hope in His steadfast love.

The passage doesn't say that the Lord savors good musicians, or strong bodies, or stifled emotions, or even obedient children (not to say that He doesn't take pleasure in those people).

No, the passage says, "those who fear Him, in those who hope in His steadfast love."

Can we ask for any better? What a glorious God we serve!

The Bride's Husband

"And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me 'My Husband,' and no longer will you call me 'My Baal.' For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD." ~Hosea 2:16-20

Rock of Ages

Exodus 33:18-22: Moses said, "Please show me your glory."

And he said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name, 'The LORD.' And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live."

And the LORD said, "Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by."

Rock of Ages

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in the Thee;

Let the water and the blood,

From Thy wounded side which flowed,

Be of sin the double cure;

Save from wrath and make me pure.

Not the labors of my hands

Can fulfill Thy law's commands;

Could my zeal no respite know,

Could my tears forever flow,

All for sin could not atone;

Thou must save, and Thou alone.

Nothing in my hand I bring,

Simply to the cross I cling;

Naked, come to Thee for dress;

Helpless, look to Thee for grace;

Foul, I to the fountain fly;

Wash me, Savior, or I die.

While I draw this fleeing breath,

When mine eyes shall close in death,

When I soar to worlds unknown,

See Thee on Thy judgement throne,

Rock of Ages, cleft for me,

Let me hide myself in Thee.

*pictures from our heavenly, all-too-short winter holiday in Alabama*

The Fight

Warning: this post has to do with politics, a subject which I readily admit I am far from informed upon, so I'm in way over my head. I welcome random thoughts and diverse opinions, but be forewarned that spiteful and slanderous comments don't get you very far up on my cool-people list (not that my list matters in the grand scheme of things).

Currently, I am enrolled in an online American Government course for college credit. Thus far, I have thoroughly enjoyed myself as I see both historical and practical significance in the subject material. Granted, I have been pleasantly surprised by the fairly unbiased opinion offered by the book; indeed, when I do sense partiality, the authors seem to take a more conservative stance than I anticipated. Nonetheless, portions of the text trouble me, especially when means and ends don't line up.

In a chapter discussing civil liberties ("freedoms protected by constitutional provisions, laws, and practices from certain types of government interference"), the authors narrowed their discussion on religious freedom to religion within public schools. As an example of a commonly debated area, the authors shared that many "committed believers" have made attempts to either "exclude Darwinian evolutionary biology from the school curriculum or to balance it with alternative interpretations such as 'creationism' . . . or 'intelligent design'".

Before I continue, I ask you, gentle reader, to answer this question: what is the point of science? Why do people devote their lives to this discipline? Why is science a strict component of both fundamental and further educations? As I understand it, science has been studied throughout the centuries in an effort to explain the world we live in, to further humans' understanding of themselves and their habitat, to answer the ever-looming questions: where did this come from, how does it work, and why does it exist?

Now that we have that point settled, I'll continue.

After listing various experiments with the proposals of Christian circles, the authors shared the Supreme Court's conclusion that including intelligent design as an alternative to Darwinian evolution was found too religious: "'. . . we conclude that the religious nature of ID [intelligent design] would be readily apparent to an objective observer, adult, or child. . . . The overwhelming evidence at trial established that ID is a religious view, a mere relabeling of creationism, and not a scientific theory.'"

My point of dissension lies in the underlying assumption of the Supreme Court. Obviously, they are concerned with the law of the land and not directly with education. Nonetheless, I sense a shortsightedness in their statement: because intelligent design could be perceived as a religious theory, it is for the birds. Whether you, reader, are a believer or not, this does not make logical sense. If, as I said before, science's purpose is to find the truth about our world, then we cannot discount hypotheses and theories merely on the grounds that they include God. Many issues result from this thinking, issues that I could expound upon, but one specifically burdens my heart.

In the past, I have often wondered why people are so offended by God being included in the science classroom, but now I think I understand. If we concede that God created the earth, then humans have purpose and responsibility. It means that we cannot rightly do whatever we wish -- One exists who will require an account of every minute used or not, a fact that makes even the most righteous man shudder. Teachers and students alike take offense at this, so they shut up and shut out any person or assembly that suggest its possibility -- no -- its probability.

This is the true debate. It sinks far deeper than religious freedoms or impartial curriculum. No, the debate is but a minute piece of an immense puzzle, a mere battle in a monumental war.

It is the fight for a literate, intelligent generation.

It is the fight for Christianity.

There may be more rants regarding my textbook in the future. I don't really care whether anyone reads this or not. I needed a place to vent, and this seemed a perfect outlet. Thanks for being my sounding board. ~JE

Renewal

"The martyrs in heaven mentioned in Revelation 6:9-11 clearly remember what happened on earth, including the great suffering they underwent. . . This passage argues against the prevalent belief that to remember any unpleasant things would automatically strip us of happiness in heaven. Heaven's joy is not dependent upon an erased mind, but a renewed mind. That will include a sense of the relative greatness of the eternal joys of heaven in comparison to the brevity of our earthly sufferings (Romans 8:18)." -Randy Alcorn

May ya'll's minds be renewed today as you face trials of various kinds!

Penance or Dependence

Throughout my youth, I have been taught biblical, sound, plain-and-simple truth. For too long, however, I was the sword drill queen, the goody goody, the know-it-all. All the Bible verses, all the answers -- Sunday School teachers counted on me. So, "harsh words stir up anger?" No problem. Another verse crossed off the list.

Don't misconstrue my words: I've benefited beyond comprehension from my parents' and authorities' careful moulding. Years later, internalized verses come to mind for rebuke, correction, and training in righteousness. Yet for a time, memorization was just what Jane Ellen did.

Back to the harsh words. To be honest, the watch tower of my lips was vacant for many, many years. Cobwebs and dust settled over its surfaces. Poisonous darts and slanderous missives sprung through the opening, eager to sting. Occasional self sufficient efforts to "do better tomorrow" usually ended in the rotten floor giving way under my feet. Feeble attempts to control my words failed more miserably than ever. So, the guard tower remained desolate, and my speech continued to pierce, deadly as arrows.

Years went by. Finally, I had a heart-to-heart with this passage, and the veil fell. Penance, that self-sufficient salvation, helped not a bit. To assume so is despicably selfish. As John Calvin affirmed, "Nothing good proceeds from a man, however perfect he be, that is not defiled by some spot." No matter how often we tug on a sapling, it will grow no faster into a tree. Similarly, expecting growth in return for independent attempts will never satisfy.

Readers, as the Father tends the orchard, so also He tends our hearts. Without the Gardener, we wilt, fade, die. Call out to the One who has food that nurtures, water that satisfies, and authority that empowers. He will not -- no -- cannot fail, for it's foreign to His formidable nature. Stooping to our level, only He can bring about growth. Are we willing to humble ourselves, fall at His feet, and beg for aid?

Simple Pleasures...

Of the last twenty four hours:

~ staying up late with Mama and Daddy (even if it was biology homework...)

~ leaving the doors open and hearing all those lovely "night noises"

~ slipping on fuzzy socks for bed (Did you notice that I *love* fuzzy socks?)

~ waking up because I was cold in bed

~ wandering about early in the morning with a beloved friend

~ greetings from others with amiable cheerfulness

~ munching a pear (One day I hope to own this.)

~ opening the windows and doors of the house

~ identifying an elusive flower

~ watching leaves fall off a tree (Yes! I have found a tree that sheds leaves in FL!)

I also stumbled across this poem:

Out in the Fields with God

The little cares that fretted me,

I lost them yesterday,

Among the fields above the sea,

Among the winds at play,

Among the lowing of the herds,

The rustling of the trees,

Among the singing of the birds,

The humming of the bees.

The foolish fears of what might pass,

I cast them all away,

Among he clover-scented grass,

Among the new-mown hay,

Among the hushing of the corn

Where drowsy poppies nod,

Where ill thoughts die and good are born --

Out in the fields with God.

-Unknown

And, of course, I'm glorying in that oft spoken, yet simply glorious psalm:

The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork.

~ Psalm 19:1 ~

I'm one blessed girl. :)

The Old Testament

What is the significance of the Old Testament? If we look at the Old Testament, we see there [are] all kinds of information in the Old Testament about creation, about people, about history, about human conflict. Wars, migration, slavery, sin, all kinds of things are taking place in this dramatic history.

But the Old Testament is not simply a history book because, above all things, what the Old Testament accomplishes, beloved, is the self-disclosure of God. The chief character in the Old Testament is God, and it is in the pages of the Old Testament, as God reveals his law, as He reveals his promises, as He interacts with his covenant people, in everything that he says, in everything that he does, every event that is recorded in the Old Testament serves in some degree to remove the veil from the face of God and disclose his pure character to us.

So how in the world could a Christian ever come to think that the Old Testament was irrelevant? To be irrelevant would mean that the character of God is irrelevant, and He is the chief character. In a very real sense, the Old Testament is the autobiography of God, God as He relates to the world that he makes and the world that is fallen.

Dust to Glory by R.C. Sproul

A Woman's Influence

(Mother's Darling, Frederick Morgan)

Have you ever thrown a stone into the water and watched the circles about it spread? As a matter of fact, they spread to the very shores of the pond or lake or sea into which you have thrown the stone; more, they affect the land on the further side. But those distant circles become so faint that they are imperceptible, while those nearest the point where you have throw in the stone are clearly marked. So it is with our Love. It is as if, in the first place, our home where the stone was thrown in to move our being; and from that central point the circle of our love widens until it embraces all men.

~ Charlotte Mason ~

As I read Miss Mason's words this morning, I thought of the incalculable impact women have within their homes. Something as simple as a mother's, sister's, daughter's love can melt hearts of ice and stone. After all, a biblical woman can win "without a word" her husband for Christ only by her "respectful and pure conduct" (1 Peter 3:1-2). Just think of the many women who have influenced their families and, consequently, affected the course of redemptive history. How true that statement is -- the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

And feminists think our job is inferior?!

A Day

As dawn casts its morning rays

onto the world, into my eyes,

pictures and dreams come as I lay,

and on the wind tosses a cry.

With groaning, pain, and tears of joy,

I see a child slip onto this earth.

Mother's eyes often watch the boy

and moisten still, knowing his worth.

The golden sphere rises higher

as the day travels slowly by,

and I see the boy growing taller

and hear Mama's and Papa's sighs.

They train and pray and pray and train,

teaching and molding steadily.

They know he will not long remain,

so on they press in word and deed.

As the sun casts its evening light

upon the leafy trees beyond,

I dream I see a touching sight:

a parting, the tearing of a bond.

Husband and wife tenderly watch

as son, now man, to battle goes.

Their arrow, sharpened, has been launched

into a world of joys and woes.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate." Psalm 127:3-5

Written while I avoid a pre-calculus quiz.

Morning Meditations

(Alfred Augustus Glendening, Spring Morning)

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.

For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf. Nor was it to offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly sine the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment, so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.

Hebrews 10:22-23, 9:24-28

Born of Inspiration:

Waves crash

over my chest,

pang after

pang of aching

indecision.

Questions, ideas,

murmurings, thoughts.

No peace from

longing and

toil.

The sea inside

tosses and turns

swells and falls

with each

wind.

I maneuver

my ship, my heart

to the shore

where I fly up

the hill.

At the crown

there stands erect

a wooden staff,

a rod with arms,

a cross.

I throw myself

and all my cares

at its foot,

at His feet,

at Him.

Then I know

all is well.

Peace, like a flood,

rushes in.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6-7

Breathe into Me

Here I sit, a young woman in a pastel nightgown with whole grain toast on a crystal plate perched on my lap. My English Breakfast tea in a Victoria and Albert reproduction mug rests upon a homemade Jane Austen coaster at my elbow. Even my pen has a Victorian floral print upon it. The only thing out of place is the music sailing along the wire channels from my iPod to my ears: RED, Breathe into Me.

I won't pretend that I don't like RED, 'cause I do. Some of their songs are so poignant and illustrative and -- what can I say? -- this Chopin, Debussy, Mozart loving music major likes their hard rock style. Nonetheless, it's not the music genre that hits me today as I eat breakfast: it's the words. They so accurately fit my feelings and lifestyle right now. I've been "ignoring [His] words" and "running away from [Him]" to the point that "I don't know myself."

Breathe into Me

And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me,

And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you,

And this is who I am when, when I don't know myself anymore,

And this is what I choose when it's all left up to me.

Breathe your life into me, I can feel you

I'm falling, falling faster

Breathe your life into me, I still need you

I'm falling, falling

Breathe into me, breathe into me

And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge

And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground

And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain

And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away

Breathe your life into me, I can feel you

I'm falling, falling faster

Breathe your life into me, I still need you

I'm falling, falling

Breathe into me, breathe into me!

"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." Revelation 3:15-22