Dreamer

(George Dunlop Leslie, Roses)

Unashamedly, I admit to being a hopeless dreamer. I enjoy creating worlds and friends in spare moments. I am often found gazing out windows or at the ground, for I've flittered off to a different time and place. Sometimes, I'll even dream up conversations, surroundings, and histories for my own, real life acquaintances. Few people I meet travel through my mind without me inventing some silly or serious fantasy about them. (Have I scared anyone yet? ;-) ). I love being a dreamer... most of the time.

Then there are days, like today, when my dreams are shattered. Perhaps shattered is too strong a word -- scratched, marred. Actually, the accurate description is that I recognize what my dreams truly are: dreams, nothing more.

*Before going on, at the risk of implying too much, I want to make this clear: I do not currently have or desire a romantic attachment to the subject I here describe. In the flirtatious and presumptuous society we live in, women describing men in admirable lights or their admiration for them is highly flammable.*

I know a young man who is charming, witty, and down-to-earth, yet at the same time he is thoughtful, deep, and intimidating. All who know him respect and adore him. When my thoughts strayed to him, I didn't need to create admirable qualities for him. Granted, plenty of enhancing and assuming occurred, something along the lines of, "Well, he's so this, so he must be that. And he associates with them, so he probably thinks that." I fitted him out and plopped him up on a white charger then stood by to admire my picture. My world seemed a more beautiful and nobler place because he dwelt in it.

But, armor rusts and knights fall. I overheard some gossip about him today, and the stories that issued from one clucking mouth to the other did not line up with my dreams. A principle I dreamed he had and a practice I dreamed he hadn't were, according to the latest, totally reversed. He didn't grossly sin or commit an inconsistency that could justify my abhorrence, but his real lifestyle failed to match my golden creation. Down he plunged.

After consideration, I recognize that his actions were far less surprising than my response to their discovery. I felt disappointed, frightened, and even betrayed. Why? Is he not allowed to be who he is? Why must he fit my mould? He doesn't have to. That is the answer. We all know that humans are sinful and will never live up to the holy standard. Indeed, my personal standards are far from perfect, so fantasizing that others hold the same ones and then feeling scandalized when I find that they do not only brings about harm.

My dreams are nothing more. They are not reality, but sometimes I wish they were.

Sometimes it really hurts to be a dreamer.

*Happy Sigh*

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." ~ Dr. Suess

What can I say? It's a new favorite quote! So sappy and sentimental . . . kinda like me. ;-)

Christian Parallels

May It Be

Composed and Performed by Enya

Lyrics by Roma Ryan

May it be an evening star

Shines down upon you

May it be when darkness falls

Your heart will be true

You walk a lonely road

Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utulie (darkness has come)

Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)

A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadow's call

Will fly away

May it be your journey on

To light the day

When the night is overcome

You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utulie (darkness has come)

Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie (darkness has fallen)

A promise lives within you now

What a glorious thing Christian-scopes are! By Christian-scopes I mean a Christian worldview, a Christian microscope, lenses to view and interpret the world through. When I sing this song, not in anyway comparable to Enya, mind you, I sing it with so much feeling behind it, for I see such blatant Christian values in it. Do you?

A promise lives within you now.

You're Invited. . .

(The Luncheon, Claude Monet)

This morning I am making my way to a fanciful picnic tea on a fantastical river. Won't you, dear kindred spirits, join me as imaginary guests?

(Morning on the Seine, Claude Monet)

Well, the actual river isn't fantastical, for its the Seine; however, enjoying luncheon beside it is quite the lovely fantasy.

(Sunshine and Shadow, Frank Benson)

You say you're too busy? Impossible! Bring along your handwork -- conversation abounds at this little social, so you shan't be bored.

(Summertime, Mary Cassatt)

We can eat and drink as we please, spending the rest of our delightful day on the river.

(Boating on the Seine, Pierre-August Renoir)

Perhaps we'll even try our hands at paddling the boats.

(A Corner of the Garden at Montgeron, Claude Monet)

On shore, of course, all the flowers are bursting brilliantly with color and texture. (But, remember, the weather is delightfully cool, for this is our fantasy that is not subject to the laws of natural seasons!)

(Woman with Parasol, Pierre-Auguste Renoir)

If you aren't among the riverfolk, I'm sure you'll enjoy the tantalizing scents and myriad blooms or perhaps the indescribable view.

(Two Women Asleep in a Punt, John Singer Sargent)

I, for one, might indulge my temptation brought on by the quiet lull of the water to slip in a moment with closed eyes and daydreams -- after all, this day of delights is to make a commonplace, tiring day just a bit more bearable!

An Image of Sovereignty

Then Iluvatar spoke, and he said: 'Mighty are the Ainur, and mightiest among them is Melkor; but that he may know, and all the Ainur, that I am Iluvatar, those things that ye have sung, I will show them forth, that ye may see what ye have done. And thou, Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uttermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument in the devising of things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined. . . . Behold your Music! This is your minstrelsy; and each of you shall find contained herein, amid the design that I set before you, all those things which it may seem that he himself devised or added. And thou, Melkor, wilt discover all the secret thoughts of thy mind, and wilt perceive that they are but a part of the whole and tributary to its glory.'

- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion

So inspiring...

If you look closely and listen closely - the music of Mozart or the paintings of Raphael - you can see it. The Elves are still with us. 

~Phillipa Boyens~